You Nerds and Your Superheroes

Everyone just friggin’ relax, please.

Man of Constant Sorrow

First point: Please vote Stephen Root into the Hall of Fame. I am agnostic abut which one, but he belongs in one of them. Second point: I’ve been a bit swamped at work / in grad school the last two weeks and, as a result, I have been listening to almost nothing except Yasmin Williams’

Draining the Swamp

In theory one of the benefits of an online life is the ability to curate one’s reality. By deciding which websites one will bookmark, which sources one will read, which video one will watch, which people one will follow, digital life promises that it will only be what you want it to be. It will

Da 5 Bloods, Ranked

A move with a little bit to say about a lot and a lot to say about a few very specific things.

I don’t want to try / so I’m not really trying

Cap’n Jazz, Chicago emo, things of that nature.

A brief note on brief notes

Generally speaking, if you do not have the time or wherewithal to complete your project, you should not share your incomplete project. If you are a short-story writer (and your name is not George Saunders), do not release your short story until it is a novel. If you are a musician (and you are not

Steep for Four Minutes

Coffee bloggin’ baby.

DOOM, and such

Sometimes I want art, sometimes I want to shoot a plasma rifle into a skeleton with rocket launchers mounted to its shoulders.

A brief list of things that are “too scary” to my daughter

We will not be with Totoro.

It is Saturday, here are Five Good Songs

New blog rock, old blog rock, some Dutch shit, and rap.

Niche 90s Alt-Rock Songs That Are Better Than “You Get What You Give,” Ranked

People love this song! People love this song and they love “Steal My Sunshine” by Len and both of these songs are medium at best. I do not really want to “yuck” people’s “yum,” it’s very nice that this song has special resonance for the President and his family, and if you like the song

There Is No Ethical Consumption (of sports) Under Capitalism (or Covid-19)

Sports: have they gone too far?

Day 1,461

Just over four years ago I had no real trouble figuring out what I wanted to say, or at least what to say at first. I made a lot of noble proclamations. Joined non-profit boards, civic associations. Knocked doors for my wife’s campaign, subscribed to my local paper, called my representatives, encouraged others to do

Dance Hall Dance Hall Everyday

There is a story – and it may be apocryphal but even it is I want to believe it so I refuse to fact-check it – that during the writing sessions that eventually lead to the creation of Good News for People Who Love Bad News, Modest Mouse was in such a rut and so

The dumbest shit I bought this week

A desk planner This would perhaps not be so dumb if not for a global pandemic that has ground all social gatherings to a halt, but even then the internet would still have made desk planners obsolete for all but the most fanciful, Wes Anderson-ass individuals. Friend, I am one such person. Look for my

A brief missive about live music

I’m listening to Legendary Wings as I type this, a band I discovered back when I was consistently writing reviews for Punknews in the early aughts and had access to demos and streams from unknown and underground bands on the regular (as opposed to now, when I just fuck around on Bandcamp and have the

A Haiku About the 76ers

A couple years back, I wrote this haiku about the Philadelphia 76ers, my professional basketball team of choice: Sixers gonna winStauskas airballs corner threeSixers gonna win I’d like to update this haiku for the 2021 plague 76ers. Three seed in the eastNot enough to win; too goodfor Isaiah Joe

I’m a George Saunders Guy now

Full disclosure, I’m still working out exactly what “being a George Saunders Guy” means. I’m sure I’m not the first person to decide to be this type of guy and I can’t be certain that there isn’t an overlap between “George Saunders Guy” and “Serious Literature Guy,” but the thing is I don’t want to

A Rundown of my thoughts upon discovering that gorillias have contracted Covid-19

Well, I guess that makes sense. Wait, what do you mean “that makes sense?” Why would that “make sense?” I mean, gorillas are close relatives to humans, right? Evolution and such? I mean, sure, evolution, a concept we are clearly very informed on and prepared to discuss, obviously evolution, sure. How does a gorilla even

Joyce Manor songs, Ranked

Of All Things I Will Soon Grow Tired is the one, but there’s no denying the band has hits. Shout out to their cover of “Video Killed the Radio Star” which is rivaled only by this Copyrights cover in terms of it’s ability to surpass the original. If you don’t see your favorite JM song

Back for the First Time

My buddy Joe hipped me to this twitter thread of a dude listening to the Hold Steady for the first time. It’s a good read if you’re into the Hold Steady and not just because it ends with the guy obliterated on Sailor Jerry and smoking cigarettes (but, honestly, that’s a big part of the

Five Good Songs – Janglin’ in Canada

It seems obscene in 2021, but back in the Before Times (I’d say, roughly, any time up until 2010) it was not uncommon to make mix tapes / mix CDs / playlists for people and expect them to listen to them. I don’t expect you, faceless reader / member of my family / one of

Thomas Jane Lookin’ Like Shit

The Expanse is a hard sci-fi show full of space politics, ship fights, worm holes, alien races and all the other swashbuckling cowboy dork shit you would expect from a fan-favorite genre show. As a dweeb myself, I’m into all of this stuff (your protomolicules, your Martian arms dealers, your weird asteroid belt people patois),

Songs from Peppa Pig’s “My First Album,” Worst to First

Looking back 50 years from now, should I be so lucky to still be looking in any direction at all, I will remember 2020 as, first and foremost, the year my daughter grew to love My First Album by Peppa Pig. Surely, this had the biggest impact on my life, more so than any other

Hard on Everybody

After the Capitol was retaken and my kid was asleep I went for a walk and listened to a golf podcast to try and numb myself from thinking about anything else. We should all expect big things from Xander Schauffele this year. I still don’t have a coherent way to think about what happened on

Some Supervillain Shit in the Local Paper

A couple of snap reactions to this article in the Inquirer: I’m not saying that “futurist” isn’t an honorific that people can be worthy of. I am saying that if one calls themselves a “futurist,” the only reasonable reaction is eye-rolling, hand-jacking-off motion skepticism. Should the “futurist” prove to be an actual “futurist,” through whatever

A decidedly not-very-helpful review of “Such a Fun Age”

Without having done the research, I feel safe in the assumption that there are phenomena that occur in any minor or major city in America, and occur commonly and with consistent regularity that, due to my living only in Philadelphia, are categorized in my mind as “Philly things;” quirks and character traits unique to this

A Long List of Things I Will Eventually Fail At

But, look, the failure isn’t the point. You go in knowing you’re going to fail and you make the list anyway. THAT’s the point. For 2021, my big new year’s resolution is to, by the end of the calendar year, be in the best shape of my adult life. There are several caveats in that

Last Year’s Resolutions, 2020 edition

I’ve never read any Camus so I can’t speak with any authority on the notion of absurdist philosophy. What I can say is that the myth of a man doomed to roll a boulder up a hill, only for the boulder to fall back down upon him no matter how high or hard he pushes

Canadian Exporting Business Continues

I can’t say for sure whether The Mark Vodka Group’s ST LP is a great garage-punk record or simply the most recent garage-punk record I’ve listened to, but I can say that it has just enough Ramones in its Jay Retard to convincingly carry a song called “Everybody’s Punk Now.” Elsewhere, there’s the speed-freak kiss-pop

New Year, New Me (Listening to Goth Music)

I’ve promised myself that I’ll get back into record reviews as opposed to “here is some free association bullshit that crosses my mind upon first hearing a record,” but it’s a holiday weekend and I’m playing Ghost of Tsushima as I write this, so it’s going to be the latter and not the former today.

Perfect Song Friday: THAT’S THAT

It took some time to come up with an MF DOOM song that fit the constructs of what this blog considers to be a “perfect” song. Including DOOM here at all, in any context that strives to catalog perfection, frankly feels antithetical to his entire enterprise. DOOM was the ultimate supervillain and as such was

Deranged Pervert Behavior Tracker

This post serves to track instances of deranged pervert behavior encountered in life, both physical and online. Names and specifics will be excluded where at all possible, elaboration provided only in circumstances that warrant it. Please update your bookmarks and check back periodically to remain current on instances of deranged pervert behavior that may be

It’s Friday, Here are Five Good Songs

Happy weekend, y’all. Think we’re going to go get a Christmas tree on Saturday and I’m video-calling an old friend on Sunday. Might golf, too, if the sun decides to come out. Here are five songs I suggest you listen to this weekend. 1) Nate Dionne – “Beat” (from Love is Always Worth It) Starts

A Good Way to Spend Four Minutes

A good way to spend four minutes, if you like tinkly twinkly midwest emo guitars and coming off like you’re not trying very hard, is to listen to this here Rookie Card EP. Stick around until the King of the Hill drops and the Mario warp tunnel noises, at least. You’ve got 60 seconds.

In Praise of The Radio (or the “Radio” feature within Bandcamp’s app, at least)

So my kid’s daycare has been closed down due to a Covid scare. Meagan is more or less unavailable from 8:30 until 3 so that means it’s me and the toddler from breakfast until nap time. To make all this work, I’ve gotten into the habit of getting up early to get some work in

The Time Has Come, Once Again …

… to listen to Meat Wave.

Two Resolutions

Yes, yes, it isn’t Resolutions Time yet. Fuck that and fuck you. Two promises for the new year, starting tomorrow: Music First – What I mean is this: I will listen to music before I listen to a podcast if I am engaging in any activity in which audio accompaniment is possible. The only exception

A Brief Blog About Told Slant

Perhaps you too once happened upon Told Slant’s 2012 album Still Water, many years after its release, and thought to yourself “ah, what a lovely little version of Modest Mouse with all the mania removed and the emo cranked up to maximum! I I will likely never listen to this again.” Perhaps you too were

Sanctimony and Confession

On the first matter: I almost broke a cardinal rule I have set for myself, which is to never engage with a stranger online about their opinions, emotional responses or janky facts. It’s been that kind of a week / month / year / half-decade / decade / 20 years. If you learn nothing else

Trouble in Transit

OH, NO REASON, WHY DO YOU ASK?

I Was A Hockey Dad

Of all the false genres of music I have created for my own internal cataloguing system, perhaps none is more dear to me than “Music That Hates You.” Without getting into the esoteric specifics of what does or does not constitute Music That Hates You, the one through-line is something in the lyrical content that

300% damage

As it turns out, four sweaty boys with guitars tell me a great deal about my own life. I’ve mentioned this before, but all I want from music is for it to capture a feeling and communicate it to me. The means through which it captures that feeling is immaterial; it can be any genre

Plunge into Offensive Vulgarity (Pop-Punk)

The temptation is to title this blog post “In Defense of Fenix, TX,” but the more I think about it the less I am willing to really marshal a true defense. I think it’s charitable to say they rode a post-Blink 182, post-New Found Glory wave of renewed interest in pop-punk as a teenage suburban

Adrianne Lenker and the Infinite Sadness

Like all humankind, I contain multitudes. One of those multitudes happens to be “tremendous pussy.” For the moments in which that particular persona makes its positioning front and center in the primary chambers of my chest and mind, I turn to maximum weepy romance shit specifically calibrated to appeal to a teenage girl in a

Listen to Billy Breathes

1) Grant Brisbee is a baseball writer who also comes correct with some pretty good twitter jokes. This one is a personal favorite that hits me particularly close to home: Anyway, he was talking about Fox using songs from Billy Breathes as promo reel material for the World Series and that reminded me that Billy

Listen to Give Up

1) Maybe the band has just been on my mind recently. 2) The Watch is a podcast about TV shows and the business of television, but it’s also a podcast about two old friends from Philadelphia sharing their relationship and mutual professional history via my headphones. It’s one of my absolute favorite pieces of culture

A Haiku About the 2007 David Fincher Film “Zodiac,” starring Jake Gyllenhall, Mark Ruffalo, and Robert Downey Jr.

Ruffalo don’t scream,Downey only does one thing,Gyllenhall, he aint. A bonus haiku: Killed hooking up, killedin a park, killed in a cab.Stay alone and live. One more additional bonus haiku: Somewhere in San Fran,the body of a nightmaredrinks aqua velva.

Top 10 Songs: The National

The floors are falling out. 10) Turtleneck – If The National want to make a Modest Mouse song, I say we let them. If they want to make their noisiest, most-bonkers freakout song since – jeez, 2005? – we, the accumulated sad men and women of the coasts / Ohio should celebrate that. 9) Mr.

Like the FED, I Have Full Faith and Confidence in Teenage Halloween

Somewhere at the intersection of Saves the Day, The Get Up Kids, Titus Andronicus, and the self-serious panic attacks of the newly not-as-young-as-they-used-to-be zoomer set sits Teenage Halloween. Sits the song “Summer Money,” more specifically. This here is the number one party song off the band’s very excellent self-titled record, which I cannot recommend enough