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Fatter, Older

Messy Music Forever

Cohesion is overrated. Cornelius' latest record, Mellow Waves, mockingly wags its genitals at the very notion. It's creative and expressive without being schizophrenic or willfully obnoxious. Now, when I say that pretentious-ass music writer-y thing there, I don't mean that Cornelius... Continue Reading →

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“Neon Bible” is Still Underrated, Though

Look, some of this stuff works. The title track may have snagged its ballroom fragility straight from Abba, but that doesn’t make the song any less of an earworm. The “dancing to New Order” vibe on “Creature Comforts” overpowers any... Continue Reading →

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I Thought the Future Would be Cooler

Technological advances, both theoretical and active, that I hope to never engage with, ranked from "least offensive" to "move offensive." Keyless Cars - Here is the only inconvenience of the push-to-start model of car, which I have been brainwashed by... Continue Reading →

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Iron and Wine was Hot in the Streets for A Minute.

Here's what you should do: You should start listening to Sam Amidon's new album, The Following Mountain, as he and the lord intended, at track one. "Fortune" is a nice, beardy folk song in the tradition of Iron and Wine... Continue Reading →

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The Other, OTHER Atlanta Rap Album from Last Week

Big Boi is an underrated weirdo. As much credit as Three Stacks gets for being the artistic half of Atlanta's rap Godfathers, he's not out here doing albums with Phantogram and rapping on Game of Thrones mixtapes. Andre Patton is... Continue Reading →

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Let me explain something / Propane with the flames buzzing

A few weeks back, I discovered that the robots that run my Spotify account had been successfully trained to auto-complete "Diplomats" and not "Diplo" when I typed the letters "D" and "I" into the search bar. This was a coup;... Continue Reading →

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Kono Pizza: Exquisite Nonsense

No reason for it, but I'll take it anyway.

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God in Chicago

I can understand anyone who fell off with Craig Finn around the time The Hold Steady discovered the rock and roll powers of Kenny G, but know this: If you haven't been keeping up with the guy, you've likely missed... Continue Reading →

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Two Things I Like About The Smith Street Band’s “More Scared of You Than You Are of Me”

Death to the lads.

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Minor Sports-Related Injuries, Ranked from Most to Least Desirable

Your body: it hurts!

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Unorganized Thoughts While I Listen to Prince on Spotify

Thinking about Prince.

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Dead Band of the Week: Sisters

Sisters!

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A Better Class of Criminal: Talkin’ About Rap-Rock

I probably liked Papa Roach more than I should have.

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“Mary” by Seller: 20-Year Power Pop

Bring me back to the alt-FM radio days of the 90s.

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On “Wane,” Kinda Alright Finds Hooks Everywhere

Twinkle rock for the actual celestial bodies.

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Onward, To the Past: 12 Sentences on Four Tool Albums

Now I, too, know the pieces fit.

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No Heat, No Beer, No Dad

Cold punk music for cold months.

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An Argument with Myself About Indie Pop Prom

Do the things you like / don't do the things you like.

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Worst to First: Hold Steady Albums

2,000 kids still feel pretty sweet tonight.

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Snail Mail – Habit

Bad camp movies - "Linger" - Middle-school kissing - Baltimore music for hormones

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Horrible Tattoo Ideas I Have Had

The tattoo you don't have is more important than the one you do.

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Fatter Older’s Favorite Albums of the Year, 15-1

Of the 43 albums that were released this year, these are the 15 that I felt like writing about.

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Fatter Older’s Favorite Albums of the Year, 30-16

Most music is fine. These 15 are better than fine. Good, even.

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Best Concerts, 2016

Dispatches from shows you did not attend and that I only sparsely remember.

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2016’s Biggest Misses

All the shit I should have listened to this year but didn't.

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Re-Ranking 2015’s Best Albums

Looking back on last year's mistakes before making this year's mistakes.

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Day One

Don't forget this.

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Songs on Pinkerton, Ranked

The father of all our styles gets its due.

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Tiny Rainbows and the Paths Not Taken

Philly youths make emotional screaming sound new again.

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Terror

Don't be afraid.

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Outside Exercises, Ranked in Order of Dickisness

Getting ticks the healthy way!

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AJJ’s Compassionate Devil Music

You should probably listen to the Devil's music.

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Beach Slang Covering Japandroids is My Whole Aesthetic Collapsing in on Itself

I don't know if I'm being trolled or what. There is no greater "I am an aging youth rocker" clarion call than this right here. https://soundcloud.com/polyvinyl-records/beach-slang-younger-us-japandroids-1

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The Five Best Pieces of Information from The A.V. Club’s Bear vs Shark Interview

"BLEEEEEEHHH!" - Most Bear vs Shark songs.

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R.I.P: The Holy Mess

Would-be champions lay it down.

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Names the Strip Club Near My House Has Had at One Time or Another, Ranked

Keep it up, grimy Fishtown.

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How to Get Hit By a Car

If you ride your bike enough, it will eventually happen to you.

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Lucky 33 Arrives Late, Right on Time

Four years of live shows informs the catchy realism of Lucky 33's first proper EP.

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Watch this Video for “D.I.Y.” by the Barren Marys and Decide Which Member is the Cutest

At least until they get paid.

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Love Songs: Doing Chores to Afford Second-Hand Alt-Rock Tapes

John Adams of Sexy Teenagers on his alt-rock past and the draconian prices of second-hand tapes.

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Rejected Wedding Ceremony Songs

Every day, 140,033,230 people get married in New York State alone!

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Five Songs in the Tone Zone

In honor of Father's Day, I put together a brief playlist of songs that remind me of my dad. I didn't get into the memories and motivations behind every one of them. Some things are just for family.  Mexican Radio... Continue Reading →

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Car Seat Headrest + Twin Pines, Underground Arts, May 22

Good haircuts on stage last night.

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Silicon Valley Power Rankings, Se. 3 Ep. 4

Currently set firmly at PUSH-POP.

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Random Thoughts About Chance 3

1) I’ve been thinking about why Surf comes off as cheesy to me and why Coloring Book doesn’t. Surf can sound like the most lavishly-produced episode of School House Rock at times, almost like it was a record made specifically for... Continue Reading →

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Ought + Priests + Marge, PhilaMoCa, May 9

This is what it looks like at the post-punk show.

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The Endless Potential of Shaggy-Ass Ultimate Golf

The second coming of J. Fox.

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Jon Kohen’s “Curse the Darkness” Lets Strings Do the Talking

Here's where the strings come in.

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Hopeless Otis Will Beat Up Your Fears

NYC hardpunk for the perpetually awake.

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Songs from the Shoebox

Be a big boy. Listen to the Snails.

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Don’t Die: Day Eight

Horses The weekend was something of a mixed bag. It went like this: Bad: Ate out at a restaurant Good: Ate reasonably well, considering (hummus, veggie sandwich, fries) Bad: Drank, despite one of the goals of this whole thing to... Continue Reading →

Don’t Die: Day Five

Let's Talk About Booze I don't drink like I used to, but I still drink. Part of the idea behind this whole Don't Die plan was to respond to what had been a pretty heavy drinking month in April. Bachelor... Continue Reading →

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