Object, Bucket of Water

Step 1: See this headline.

Step 2: Spend a few seconds trying to understand what “an object” might be (like, if it was a rock or a brick, the would have said so, because that makes it buzzier and also more clearly reflects the reality of events, which is the dual role of a headline. So that means it has to be an object that has no simple one-or-two-word descriptor, but it also can’t be, like “the contents of a trash can” because that wouldn’t be “an object.” It could also be that the paper is reporting the testimony of the officer in question, and that this person does not remember what it them, only that they were hit. How often does the local paper provide small mysteries like this?).

Step 3: It was a portable coffee cup.

One response to “Object, Bucket of Water”

  1. My step 4 is wondering how the hell this dude got a full bucket of water into that riot. Was he just…carrying around a bucket of water during an insurrection? Makes sense to carry a cup of coffee, since the insurrection happened in the morning. But a bucket of water?! There’s even video! It was a legit bucket of water! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b76KfHB0QO8&t=983s

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