Five Minute Blog – Preferred Geographic Settings for Crime Fiction

Five Minute Blogs are blogs that are written in one take, in five minutes. Whatever gets done in five minutes is what you get to read, you sicko. Timer starts after this parenthetical.

At this point, do not bother me with your crime fictions set in California or any major city on the East Coast above, say, Norfolk. I am aware the hippies had a dark side, I am aware of New York and (horribly) Boston and (regrettably) DC, do not tell me any more of these places. You may set your crime fiction in Chicago if you must, but god help you if this become a local politics story. Much better to set it in Detroit, or Ames, Iowa, and really fucking show us something. The rural Midwest is okay, too, but the Cohen Bros have marked that territory beyond much further exploration.

You may set your crime fiction on a Native American reservation but it cannot be some “white man comes to solve the crime” shit, because I have seen Longmire and desire no more of it. Now, here are some great places to set your crime fiction:

The Great Planes (even better if we’re in, say, middle-of-nowhere Utah and not, like, Oklahoma City)

The Mississippi Delta / Louisiana Bayou (you’ll get some True Detective runoff, but it’s worth it).

Florida (god, there is SO MUCH CRIME in Florida and so few hard-boiled stories about solving those crimes. Please write more about the crimes being committed in Florida).

The Frontiers – Alaska, remote parts of the Northwest, remote parts of the Southwest. This is good shit.

The American South – This is the winner. Goddamn, I’ll read any story about crime taking place anywhere south of that one Waffle House on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. It is so hot and so hateful and so polite. PLEASE, THIS FLOWER IS WILTING.

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